Trying to share custody is a challenging process for many divorcing couples. It can be difficult to give up time with the children and also painful to interact with each other every few days. Holidays, birthdays and other special events can be particularly difficult to navigate after a divorce.
Parents may have a hard time agreeing on the best way to handle those special days in their parenting plans. However resistant they may be to the idea, they do need to find a way to cooperatively address the special days for their children in the future.
What can parents do to prepare for the division of holiday parenting time?
Agree to a realistic schedule
There are many ways to divide the holidays in a shared custody scenario. Some parents alternate holidays. Other times, they may be able to share by having everyone celebrate together if the divorce is amicable. Some families might split the holiday so that the children spend a portion of the day with each parent. The sooner parents agree to a schedule that works for their family, the more holidays they can enjoy without unnecessary conflict.
Communicate about parties and presents
Whether there is a big birthday coming up or a family Christmas party ahead, advance communication is key to ensuring pleasant celebrations for the children involved. Parents can coordinate gifts so that they don’t duplicate what they get. They might even be able to share the cost of the high-price presents so popular among those interested in technology. Cooperative communication can allow parents to modify their schedule to accommodate parties and special school events. They can help ensure that the logistics of the day take a back seat to the joyful celebrations for the children.
Find a useful distraction
As a final note, almost all custody arrangements involved a degree of sacrifice. Parents have to be prepared to occasionally spend special days on their own without their children. Having plans ranging from movie marathons with friends to a deep dive into a hobby can help make it easier for parents to cope with separation from their children on special days.
Addressing the holidays is one of many issues that parents have to overcome as they prepare to share custody. The more issues parents address ahead of time, the fewer disputes may arise as they adjust to co-parenting.