Parents who make the decision to divorce have to ensure that they’re doing what’s best for their children. This is sometimes difficult because they must put aside their own emotions to do what the kids need.
There are some specific mistakes that parents can make as they’re going through this process. Doing any of these can make it more difficult as time moves forward.
Mistake #1: Passing messages through the children
Children shouldn’t ever have to pass messages between their parents. Instead, both adults should speak directly to each other. Keep the conversations focused on the children and remain calm. If things get contentious, take a step back to calm down before you address the topic again.
You also shouldn’t try to use the children to spy on your ex. Unless it impacts the health or safety of the children, it shouldn’t matter to you.
Mistake #2: Putting an emphasis on material things
Some parents fall into the habit of emphasizing what they buy for the children. While it’s understandable to want to keep things you purchased in good shape, you shouldn’t emphasize it so much that the children become stressed out.
It may help everyone involved if the children have necessities at both homes. This can prevent the kids from having to try to remember to pack everything up for each transition day.
Mistake #3: Letting the past rule the present
You can’t let what ended your marriage rule your child custody situation. Let the emotions go and remember that your ex can be a good parent even if they were terrible toward you. Pay attention to how the children are faring and focus solely on that now.
Making sure that you have everything in place for the parenting plan is important. The children need to know that they have stability despite the massive changes going on. If you and your ex can work as a team to get the terms worked out, it sets a good foundation for the future. Remember to set the plan based on the current needs because the terms can be modified in the future.