You have decided to get a divorce after being married for 20 years. One of the reasons that you waited was for the sake of your children. Now that they are grown, you are ready to move forward with the divorce. You have no idea how to break the news to your children.
Telling your adult children you’re getting divorced is not easy. Regardless of their age, you may find that they act very childish when they hear the news. They may demand answers to very specific questions that you should be prepared to address. There may be anger or lots of tears. That’s why it’s important that you and your spouse speak to your children together.
Your children need reassurance
You may have to answer the same questions several times as your children try to grasp what you’re telling them. Be patient and give them all the time they need. Understand that your adult children may have trouble accepting what you are telling them. No one wants to hear that their parents are splitting up. You can help them by:
- Reassuring them that you will always love them.
- Realizing that they will experience a lot of emotions.
- Refraining from casting blame or arguing with your spouse.
Do not speak poorly about your spouse to your children. You and your daughter may tell each other everything, but she does not need to know the intimate details of your marriage. Regardless of the reasons for the divorce, your children love both of you. Be careful not to make them feel like they have to choose sides.
Divorce is never easy on couples or families. Before you file, consider all of your options. Remember that you do not have to handle this process all alone.